 |
| One with cluelessness |
I read Sheldon Kopp's book "If you meet the buddha on the road, kill him" in 1978 or so. It was an amazing book. It was a book that explored humanity, vulnerability and spiritual growth. While the title was quite catchy, this was not a slick answer book.
I wondered what the Buddha ever did to piss off the good doctor. Come on: the Buddha? Maybe it was a past life thing (snicker). Maybe he just got sick of hearing glib, superficial yakity-yak answers from people who think that every one of your challenges, illnesses or adversities is a gift. After a 5 minute conversation, they're happy to tell you how lucky you are to break your leg, get cancer, go blind etc. Even ashrams can have their share of fools.
So I am channeling my inner child brat guru as an antidote to the toxic, uninvited displays of psuedo-spirituality. If I ever proselytize, or offer "deep" insights instead just listening well, stop me. Yawn loudly in my face, pretend to feint, start to puke or tell me to STFU. But please don't confuse me with the Buddha; someone might want to take Kopp's advice literally.
Murray's alternative 7 day guide to pseudo-enlightenment
- Day 1. Daily journal in limerick format written with non-dominant hand or foot.
- Day 2. Meditation: 30 minutes harmonized humming in mosquito filled room.
- Day 3. 8- hour dairy and gluten free massage fast.
- Day 4. Mandala: create personal mandala using invisible ink, or water with a used toothpick.
- Day 5. Single hand clapping: 5 minutes on right and left side.
- Day 6. Sacred body cavity cleansing: power tools not allowed. Orifice of choice. Perhaps a visit to the Colon Whisperer. Two for 1 honeymoon special available. Same sex marriages honored.
- Day 7. Silent Shopping meditation. No purchase necessary.
Thanks for listening.
Murray (mostly, sprinkled with a little Vicki)
